Interesting title eh? Well, it just happened! I had 2 days of inexplicable happiness! Even my habits were more fun and rewarding. I was reciting them with much more confidence and literally having fun doing them.
I even said to one of my Master Mind Partners that I was “the happiest I’ve been in, I can’t remember how long and it even carried into yesterday for a second day”. He said, “Todd, you’re putting in the work! It’s your new habits. Keep going!” It was cool to hear.
Even though, I have noticed subtle changes in myself there hasn’t been anything profound, ya know? For instance, I LOVE my sits! They are a half hour, EASY! However, I never notice much coming to me yet, I just enjoy the peace, I think. I do feel better when I get up from them but I keep waiting to experience “something” while in them and it’s happened, maybe 3 times in 3 years! So, I persist.
Today, the wheels fell off the wagon. My wife got up in a horrible mood! Claiming she had been awake since 4am and in pain (MS, Fibromyalgia and degeneration of her spine) and was just irritable and seemed like she was looking for a fight. I got up and went outside with the dog.
We pee and I go back inside and I let him roam our acre lot for a few minutes while making and eating breakfast and then he is usually waiting for me at the front door after about 10 -15 min. Today, I open up the front door only to find him in my next door neighbor’s yard which he knows is a No No!
So, now, I am mad! and I let him not in no uncertain terms! He cowers and goes upstairs so he can be comforted by my wife. So, when I go upstairs to get ready for work, OF COURSE IT’S ALL MY FAULT!
My wife and I jump in the car and she brings me to work. While we are driving, she is hammering me, looking for a fight. In my head, I’m just repeating “Terra is Whole, Perfect, Strong Powerful, Loving, Harmonious and Happy”.
She is still hammering away! I’m like, “Todd, let’s see if we can at least get to the reservoir without you saying anything.” Success! She keeps hammering me. “Todd, let’s see if we can make it to the Bristol line without you saying anything.” Success!
We are almost to my job. I think we are about 4 min away and the “beast” awoke! I get right down in the mud with her and as I’m walking from the car to the shop, we are both screaming at each other, all the stuff you do when you fight! It was horrible and I was right there with her as if there had been NO MKE class!
Needless to say, I jumped right into my habits, trying to reverse the damage. Good Grief! Here’s hoping I can make tomorrow Much Better!
That’s All I’ve Got! I Always Keep My Promises – Todd Armstrong
Thanks for sharing Todd. 21-18 if we fail and then, we should by no means lose hope, the law is absolute and invincible and gives credit for every effort and success, even though our efforts and successes are perhaps intermittent.
Todd, please don’t be hard on yourself. After reading your story I wanted to give you a hug. You did your best to be a Peacekeeper and tried not to upset Terra anymore than she was already upset. It may not have gone the way you hoped but you did your best. You did use your MKE skills by visualizing goals to reach without losing your temper. You did it at least twice. And you sent loving, kind thoughts and wishes towards Terra, even if she didn’t hear you say it. If you hadn’t taken the MKE course and learned so many valuable skills to help you deal with yourself and others, you probably won’t have even thought to send her kind, loving thoughts her way when you could see she was wanting a fight. That’s worth celebrating! Even when you did get into a “loud discussion” with Terra it took you a long time to reach that point. You also tried to reverse the damage by getting back to doing your habits. Bravo! Most people wouldn’t even think to get back to doing their positive daily habits after having an altercation with someone, particularly on the same day!
Todd, don’t beat yourself up too much. Remember how many things in a day that we do well and then there us that one thing that goes wrong and that’s what we hold onto. It is a process and you are starting to make progress. Sometimes you just have to let go. Learning how to respond instead of reacting has helped me tremendously. One day (today) at a time.
Todd, it doesn’t seem to me like you fell of the horse, my friend! You might have let go of the reins briefly. I’ve been known to not keep my hands and feet completely inside the ride at all times now and again! It seems to me, you’ve got this!
Todd- Thanks for sharing. You are not alone. It is not easy having a partner who is not doing MKE too. These days come and I agree with Jen that before MKE you would have been right there with her not being conscious of what you are going to say or where the fight will go. I think it is something to be cheering for and yes we all fall sometimes but as long as we get back into our habits we are back on track.
It’s time to celebrate Todd!! You were completely present, in the moment, aware of your thoughts, using the skills, and doing your best in the moment. I read somewhere, “our best doesn’t always look the same.” Most important, you were aware of your thoughts, and being the observer, in the midst of a challenging situation.
It’s time to jump and down and celebrate all your progress! Before MKE, you would have been on auto-pilot, reacting right from the start, not even been aware of your thoughts or that you had the ability to respond differently. Your mental exercises have made a difference and will continue to because you jumped right back on that horse. Bravo!! Cheering you on Todd!!