We are now finishing week 21. This is amazing. I have experienced changes in myself that I always knew I needed to do but never had the tools before this class. Thank you!

This week, it was also challenging for me with certain things. While my mental mindset has been on point, I struggled a little with family self pity and a lot with my sit. Outside forces seemed to want to butt in. Silence seemed to escape me most days.

From deliveries and dog barking to kids being home on February break to things being crazy at work. I felt like I went back to week 2/3 when I really struggled to get a consistent 15 minutes of meditation in.

I have decided that I need to wake up early when the house is quiet and take care of my mental self first thing instead of working it into my day midday.

I also struggled this week with the word prayer. While I would not consider myself to be a religious person, I grew up in a very religious household. My mother switched to many different churches looking for a place to belong.

Religion wasn’t a choice for me growing up so when I became a grown-up and a mom, I wanted to do the opposite. I believe there is a higher power, an inner being or spirit that we can talk to even “pray” to but I do not believe that it has power over everything.

Too many studies have shown that things we do, habits we have and even this class confirms it that what we think and habits we have are what creates the outcomes of our lives.

I sat on the word Prayer and was able to release the negative feelings around it. My mother often blames everything on God and the power of prayer. Good or bad, it was God answering her prayers. As I sat, I observed that she was really using the same tools that we have and use in this class just calling it by another name.

Something that she seemed to relate more with. It is her way and I have my way and yes they are the same way. Just different names. She relies on God to help her with her path, I rely on my inner spirit.

With opinions, my husband has been on this self-pity kick. No matter how much I tell him that our thoughts dictate how our life is, he always falls into the “the universe doesn’t want me to be happy” or the “no matter how hard I try to be happy, it never works.”

I got to the point where I told him this week that I can’t engage in these types of conversations with him. My daughter as well had a negative standpoint this week. She was just coming out of being sick, missed some things she was looking forward to at school and just really wanted to fight back.

There was a lot of talking back and I had a few moments where my voice rose instead of keeping things calm and trying to help her understand the reasoning for what I am either asking her to do or how she is acting.

I know I am not going to be perfect after 21 weeks and completely understand that this is all normal as these are my dragons that I need to come to terms with. I just wanted to note that I am experiencing them and working on them and every day doing my exercises and using the tools to keep things positive.

Each day and step is just one more closer to the person I intend to be!