This was a tough week for me. I went silent in the Master Key Experience masterminds and alliances. I was ashamed and embarrassed. Major personal life changes, as I’ve written of before. The wheel Og mentions in Scroll 6…it seems I have a super-car engine running that wheel this week. The changing moods have been fast and furious.

Gratefully, I do have tools I’ve never had before. They have been practiced a lot this week. I am extremely grateful for my tribe who was able to point out to me magnificent positives that I failed to acknowledge. It is so true that we need masterminds to see things we cannot when in stumbling through a fog.

I have yet to do the Big Silence but actually did several small ones without intending to. I was seeking silence in desperation but experienced the monkey brain that people speak of—yet to reach the silence but I faced some hard truths.

Some questions and statements kept rolling through my brain. I’m paraphrasing—“if you still don’t know what you want, if you’re still struggling with you DMP, go back, do the PPN exercise and start over”, “you’re doing exactly what you want to do”

The truth? I need to start over. I acknowledge that I am still running from things I don’t want instead of toward things I want. I have yet to envision the future me let alone make friends with her. Some visions of future me terrify me because I am still running from something.

And the Law of Growth worked. I attracted more of what I don’t want.

And then I argue with the Law of Least Effort. How can I not blame myself for situations and circumstances that I manifested?

And then I counter it with another Law of Least Effort; these things that I see as problems are great opportunities in disguise. I have my work cut out for me to remove the disguises.

This blog is late and pinbally because I still have monkey brain and am having trouble being articulate.

But I am writing it to keep my promise to myself and to you all. (and even though late I would argue that it is not because this moment is exactly as it should be because the whole universe is exactly as it should be—and that sounds like a justification excuse to me—more monkey brain!)

Even with all the monkey brain, I have a certain peace because I know there is no going back. I have tools. I have an owner’s manual now.

I persist and I win.