Following the Week 24 webinar I was left with overwhelming feelings of regret, guilt, shame and unworthiness. I was reminded of the holes in my spirit because of actions of the past. It was a devastating and depressing realization – — again.

Memories of the past flooded my current state of consciousness and the pathology of ‘paralysis by analysis’ set up to become emotional rigor mortis. Damn, I thought I was over this. I thought that the inner light of my being had been turned up sufficiently revealing that I was a being of light turning the page to a new reality.

But, no, the brighter light increased the contrast of the shadows and the cockroaches of past sins were seen to be still scurrying about. Self loathing and self pity set in, in a massive way. I was still the same being that I was before.

Nothing had changed. Was the eternal Springtime of enlightenment ever going to dawn? When would I reach the Valley of Self-Love and Acceptance in my journey? Would the hell of self judgment ever end?

Please God, how long must I choke on this pain in my soul? End it God or end me became the silent prayer creeping up from my inner depths. Dare I let it come to the surface for fear that would be the end of me? Would I now manifest my death as well?

This is a dark place for I am truly alone. No Master Mind to save me here for no one could possibly understand or care for they are stuck in their own matrix of illusion. No, this is it, for I meet no one but me. I see the grim reflection in the mirror of compensation and it is a grotesque chimera.

So, where does the inmate of my mind go from here? Try to remember your teachings Daniel son. Look to third eye Daniel Son. Wake up Daniel Son. Wake the hell up.

“To truly love another you must first love yourself,” an inner Voice said.

“But exactly how does a person love themself?” I asked.

The Voice continued. “True self love is difficult for those who are spiritually awake as well as those who are not because most believe that self love refers to loving the three dimensional false sense of self that most identify with as being who they are.”

“As individuals spiritually evolve, they begin to remember and analyze past actions from a new and higher perspective. Words spoken and actions taken in a less evolved state of consciousness start coming to mind bringing with them guilt, regret, and even self loathing–a sense of unworthiness that leaves them wondering how on Earth they can ever love themselves.”

“Daniel Son, if this has been your experience, you are not alone for just as with all earthly experiences, this stage is another facet of the journey, another step along the path to deeper spiritual realization. As you learn about and begin to accept the YOU that you really are you automatically begin to understand, appreciate, and love the person you thought you were. Simply allow this aspect of self love to unfold as you are ready. Embrace the pain and be grateful for it for all things are perfect and ‘this too will pass’.”

The Voice became silent for a moment to allow me to ponder its message.

It continued. “The secret to loving one’s self is to stop judging your worthiness for love from three dimensional standards and concepts. Loving self does not mean loving the ego, that false sense of self that you came to accept as being who you were, but rather means learning about, understanding, accepting, integrating, living, and loving the real you– the YOU that is Universal Divine consciousness individualized, the YOU you have been unaware of throughout lifetimes.”

“What is love?,” I asked, “For I truly don’t know.”

“Most consider love to be an emotion because it is usually experienced that way. The word emotion means “energy in motion”. Love as it is known and accepted by most at this time is a limited three dimensional concept of real love. Real Love is the omnipresent energy of the one infinite formless Divine Consciousness that forever is surrounding and flowing to, from, and between all expressions of IT-self as people, plants, animals, planets, stars, galaxies – all material matter.”

“Knowledge is structured in consciousness and knowledge is different in different states of consciousness. This ever present interconnecting energy is interpreted and understood according to one’s individual state of consciousness and can therefore manifest and even be experienced as hate as well as “love”. Most are, as of yet, unable to understand or even consider love as being an omnipresent God energy and will remain unaware of it until they are able to comprehend and integrate ONEness .”

“Through the process of living every person has acquired personal likes and dislikes and has done things he/she now regrets. Everyone can remember situations where hurtful words were spoken and self serving actions were taken. But, always remember that all experiences are learning experiences meant to eventually bring every person to a higher spiritual awareness of self and others.”

“Look eye, Daniel Son. Do not concentrate on or denigrate yourself over past actions. Make amends where or if it is appropriate and then move on. Send Light and Love to those who may have already gone home and forgive all who have offended you in the realization that they too are spiritual beings in the process of learning and evolving. We are spiritual beings having a material experience. Try not to dwell on or continue feeding low resonating situations; it doesn’t serve you. The past is a lesser state of evolution; water over the dam. The past is a canceled check. It is gone. Be here now, for now is all you have.”

“Common concepts of love are based on separation and duality. They promote love as being limited to sexual attraction, compassion, sympathy, desire, service, religiosity, etc. because this is how God energy is commonly interpreted on Earth at this time. You are ready to move to the higher consciousness of love from which you can more fully experience and express it to self and to others.”

“People often say, ‘I love you’. But, what they really should say is ‘I am Love’ for Love is who you are. It is the Formless Reality from which all of this world of manifestation emerges. You are the Stuff of the Universe and that Stuff is Love.”

“​Love is the substance of everything because it is ALL THAT EXISTS. It is the creative, alive, permanent energy of omnipresent Divine Consciousness–God. You are floating in it. It is the air you breathe, the water in lakes, streams, and oceans, every tree and flower, a baby’s smile, and the wagging tail of a dog. It is relationship, wisdom, concern for others, peace, joy, and laughter. You are swimming in the omnipresent energy of love at all times and could never be separate from it even if you tried but it does not look that way on Earth because three dimensional states of consciousness continue to interpret God’s spiritual expressions from levels of duality and separation belief.”

“Your beliefs are the cause of your illusion. It is your beliefs that are causing your pain. What happened in your past life is just data; data that has been long erased. But, what stayed are the beliefs they caused. The beliefs are the toxic residue, the hologram, that is generating this false reality and sense of self. Can you not see this?”

“​Because most are, as of yet, unable to see the reality that underlies everything, they continue to believe in and live from false, conditioned, and programmed mind-formed interpretations of the perfect universe and ideas of Divine Mind. Observing Reality changes it. This is because we observe through the filter of our belief system. Judgment congeals Infinite Reality. The world is as we are. Be nothing to experience nothing. Be still and know that you are God.”

“The Voice then departed and said, ‘Peace be with you, for peace is the journey.”