This week started with love in my heart. So many things were going right: My Dad, who was ill, was feeling better and his strength was returning. Things that used to upset me no longer bothered me.

I could look in the mirror, read “The Gal in the Glass” and enthusiastically say, “I love you Deanna Pulido Baker! You’re a Phenomenal Woman!” I felt happy every time I said, “I greet today with love in my heart.” Silver linings were everywhere!

Today was different. Today I had an emotionally charged day that knocked me off the Mental Diet. My day started great. I did sun salutations and wrist curls. I read a lot of positive affirmations and wrote a couple of encouraging cards. I enjoyed seeing the sunshine after days of rainy weather. I completed several of my daily MKE readings before leaving for work.

After supper and some rest I worked on my DMP recording. I read some of the messages under the Alliance and remembered the suggestions my tribe recommended about making recordings. I incorporated this knowledge with how I created my DMP recording.

Once my DMP recording was done, I checked my Marco Polo app. This time there were two tribes listed not one. It took some time to get through 27 Marco Polos. I realized my small tribe, which felt like family, was combined with another tribe.

This was a big change, something I wasn’t ready for. The new tribe were friendly. However, I had mixed feelings about my tribe being combined with another tribe. My old cement Buddha emerged, unhappy with the sudden change.

There was a feeling of loss, of having to start over. I knew it had nothing to do with the new tribe; they’re amazing. It was all about my struggles to adjust to change, a lifelong struggle.

To add to my unhappiness, hubby and I had a disagreement, which in hindsight, was entirely my perception on the situation, not reality. The biggest change is that next week I’ll be undergoing a procedure I’ve been waiting for for over a year.

I had exactly 2 weeks to prepare for it. In a few weeks, once my body’s healed, I won’t need some of my medical team’s help anymore. The loss of that connection to friends who looked after me and encouraged me for over a year, has been emotionally draining.

This evening the depression demon won the initial battle. I half-heartedly read Og Mandino’s Scroll 2, my DMP, movie trailer POA and service cards, Master Keys, and Seven Laws of the Mind while listening to Handel’s Water Music.

I looked in the mirror and read “The Gal in the Glass.” Today I couldn’t bring myself to look in the mirror and say, “I love you Deanna Pulido Baker.” Instead I told myself, “Not today.”

After crying while listening to Og Mandino’s Scroll 2, I looked at my movie poster. My eyes zeroed in on the trillium, koi fish, and green butterfly, my calming images. Above the butterfly and trillium was the phrase “Get peace of mind.”

I then noticed the words I had pasted in the middle of the poster. “Let’s Connect” “With a Friend.” Below the sentence I saw the word family inside a green triangle. Its sister green triangle had an image of two women sitting together, talking, and enjoying hot beverages.

At the bottom of my poster I spotted, in a blue rectangle, “Change is beautiful.” It was so important to me, I put it twice on the poster. I read “Change is beautiful” several times. I decided to embrace this affirmation and shake off the cement from my old blueprint.

Change is beautiful. I could feel my mood change and the Law of Substitution was activated.

Once my mood was more upbeat, I tackled Haanel’s recommendation that during my daily sit, to visualize a battleship, from concept to completion. I struggled visualizing a battleship. I had no idea what a battleship looked like. I knew it was a big naval ship but that was all.

I had to look up what a battleship looked like. I knew what a submarine looked like and I’ve been inside one, but not a battleship. I could visualize men mining metal and melting it but even with Haanel’s visualization prompts, from the concept of what the engineers envisioned a battleship should look like to the completion of the battleship, it was hard to visualize all the processes necessary to create a battleship.

After I listened to one of my new tribe member’s choice to visualize all the processes needed to create his sandwich, I realized I could change the image to something I could relate to. I visualized a hand knitted Cowichan sweater instead. I could see the white, brown, and black sheep grazing in the field. Then I saw the white and dark grey Old English sheepdog herding the sheep to be sheared.

Each process required a group of people sharing the various tasks. I could hear the stories and laughter as women washed, carded, and spun the wool. I could see women sitting together, knitting sweaters with the wool they turned into yarn. The more I visualized the wool being processed, the more real it was for me. I could feel the wool flying through my fingers as I knitted and hear the metal knitting needles clacking together.

I learned an important lesson today. I greet today with love in my heart because change is beautiful.