So, I did MKMMA the first time during 2015/2016 and almost every year since. The first time I did much better with the whole Master Key Experience than ever since. Back then I was full of plans and ambition to achieve everything I wanted in my life. I had a great DMP and I loved my press release. Life wasn’t perfect by was heading the right direction.
I would give myself a 80% score on the whole experience. My wife at the time arranged a mini celebration party with our children when I completed the course at the end of March 2016. It was bliss.
Then a few short months after that everything changed when she surprised me with her desire to get divorced. Since then my life has been a bit of a blur! Actually, a bit of a blur is a gross understatement! The divorce was long and painful.
Since then almost every year come September I would start the MKE hoping that my life will change for the better. We are now in November 2023 and I can’t really say that my life has improved much.
It’s a struggle to write a DMP that I really love and the most challenging part for the last seven years has been the writing of the my press release. This is where the wheels fall of every year.
Very little of anything I wrote in my DMP and press release from 2015/2016 has played out the way I wanted. Hence the struggle since in writing both a DMP and a press release that sits right with me.
I lost so much in the divorce and got stuck in the disappointment and pain. I have three awesome children and that was the worst part of the unwanted experience. The pain they went through and the consequence of all of it. None of it was in my plan for my life. The pain of now only seeing them once a month if I’m lucky. Sometimes I don’t see them for six to eight weeks. They are still children of the ages 14, 15 and 17! I miss out on so much!
It is easy to write the obvious things in my DMP like spiritual health, physical health, financial prosperity, etc. However, whenever I achieve any form of success and I don’t have the people I love the most around me to share it with, it doesn’t really matter.
Even when I plan my days and do everything I set out to do, come the end of the day and I find myself home alone, it breaks my heart that I don’t have my wife and children to share it with.
I know this post may once again sound like a pity party and maybe it is. This is all part of what I’m feeling and experiencing. I know I have to get through this. I just have to keep moving forward no matter how difficult it may be.
I have fallen behind with the blog posts, but failure will not overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough! I just have to grind it out. One day at a time. Embrace the pain. Embrace the disappointment. Embrace the change. Embrace the design of my new life.
I’m basically back to square one. As much as it sucks if I think about where I wanted to be, it is also a great place to be right now as I can now design everything I want the way I want it. If only I can find it within myself… WHAT DO I WANT!?!?
Hi Gerhard, thank you for being so open. I wondering what kind off live you desire to have with your children. What it would look and feel like, what you would do together etc. And what kind of person you would want to spend your life with. What she would look like and what would the relationship be based on. What is most important to you in a relationship with her and your children. I am wondering about it because you mention that you don’t have the people you love around you. So what would life look like with all the people you love around you?
I have experienced divorce. From my experience, you have a choice.
Here are some ideas to consider: Text and call your children. Tell them you love them. Ask them what activities they like to do and do the activity with them. Be with other people in activities you want to learn more about.
You can “Do It Now!”
Hey Gerhard, don’t you want to feel happy? You have expressed in your blog several things that make you happy, one being the presence of your loved ones! Now, what kind of people do we all like the most to be in presence with? Happy people! I let you connect the dots to find the big picture 😉 Congratulations for daring to show your vulnerability, which makes your post a great source of inspiration for many of us!