This past week’s MKE struck a chord with me, not so much as a “Ah-Huh” moment, but as a reminder of the part of myself that I have struggled with in the past.

Many years ago, a good friend of mine told me that I was selfish. I was taken aback, as I never thought of myself as being selfish. Contrary to this, I always took pleasure in helping others, or giving to others, without expectation of reciprocity. So, this comment really had me baffled.
I asked my friend what she meant. She explained to me (and the thought still brings tears to my eyes as I write this) that I am always willing to help others, but that I never ask for help. Also, whenever help is offered, I decline the offer. She went on to explain that I was denying them the pleasure to help me.

My throat is tight, and the emotion still overwhelms me. The revelation hit me in the head like a brick. As I think back, my subconscious mind received programming from my mother, as whenever anyone did anything for her, she would offer them money because she did not want to feel obligated to them.

The person that I want to become, is to be a grateful receiver as well as being a grateful giver. I’m going to include this in my DMP.