I will not quit pursuing my happiness. I’m talking about the happiness that comes from knowing you are doing your best. Success is a private matter. What’s considered success to one person is treated as trivial to another.
I spent this week (Week 9) being an “observer” of my life. I observed the resistance to using the Law of Growth to move forward. Then I observed my eagerness to replace a non-serving habit with one that serves my purpose. It’s an interesting tug-of-war going on. Whose side am I on, anyway?
The holidays were equally interesting. Some moments I was able to keep my opinion to myself. Other moments I “had to set the record straight.” To avoid some conversations, I drifted to the sofa and watched a couple of documentaries with fellow “Avoiders.”
Some days I’m doing my best. Other days, I’m “trying” to do my best. I now understand the difference between the two.
When I do my best, at the end of the day, there is a feeling of satisfaction that I did what I was supposed to do THAT day. It’s the awareness that I was intentional and focused. The other 25 things that still need doing can wait until tomorrow. That’s the feeling I have when I do my best. No guilt. All smiles as I drift off to sleep.
When my day is filled with busy work and I’m making mental excuses about why I didn’t do the most important activities of the day, that’s when I know I’m going to end my day disappointed in myself.
But at all times I give myself grace to make mistakes and grow. I forgive myself for allowing the old blueprint to keep getting in the way. I forgive myself for being impatient with the Law of Growth.
If I could swallow a pill to become transformed into this new and improved version of myself, I wouldn’t hesitate to take it.
But I’m glad there isn’t such a pill because I wouldn’t have the opportunity to get to know myself better. The new Me would soon forget what it took to become the new Me. Taking the slower route of trusting the process helps me appreciate my new life.
I love the shapes and colors plastered on my walls. They remind me that change is coming.
Wax on… Wax off!
Hi Ava, You are making great progress. It is healthy to make the transformation to your new aware self.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. I liked a lot of points you made. Much of what your words spoke to me were, positive and definitive. Getting to the confidence and sureness of yourself. BRAVA!
Thanks, Pedro! We can all do better. But we know when we’ve given our best.
Ava, what a terrific blog! I am inspired by your words, and It made me reflect on my experience so far in MKE. I too, find in those days where the old blue print gets a little more action than it should, the man in the glass shakes his finger at me and tells me to do better.
thanks for the share!
Ava, what an incredible share — huge awareness and great advice for all of us. There truly is a distinction between doing your best and “trying”. Even Yoda tried to warn us about the “try” thing. You helped define it further. Thank you!