Embracing A Journey

I’m on this wonderful journey of growth and transformation. I know I’m going to love the journey even though I already feel I’ve fallen behind.

On this journey I need to write a weekly blog, mind you I don’t have any problems starting conversations which is just a verbal blog. Writing my words down is different because I can go back and delete a thought. But now that I need to sit down and write it and share my truth, what’s happening?

My mind is thinking of so many other things. The sourdough starter I started a few weeks ago, how is it doing? I’m thinking about being hungry but I ate not too long ago. Oops, I’m wrong, it’s been 4 hours. I’ll be right back, I’ll go grab something…. I’m back.

I had to make myself a cream cheese sandwich, so I can eat and type and not miss the deadline. Not the best solution but that’s my plan. Gone are the days of herding the kids to the dinner table. Gone are the days of dressing up to go out for dinner. My home is my sanctuary, my castle, my “I can do anything I want” place and I love it.

I digress, back to the blog. So this journey I’m on I actually started earlier this year. It’s learning about the subconscious mind, the mysterious source that never sleeps and let me tell you, it’s been awake for over 60 years. It’s fascinating and a little sad. It makes me realize that every word, every expression, every thought gets buried inside and dictates so much.

I’ve come to realize that I’ve been living my life, a wonderful life, orchestrated by the other me. The me that is not here anymore. The younger me, the frightened me, the shy me. Things that used to scare me, don’t scare me anymore.

Things I used to crave and want, it’s funny how I no longer care for. My mysterious mind held on those things, thoughts and feelings that no longer serve me. I’m ready to let go and create a new story and that is the journey I’m on.

A journey of self-love where all my dreams and desires come true. They’re just waiting for me to acknowledge them, admit to what I really want and work towards it. Do I dare admit to what I really want? I’m working on that. I’m working on being deserving of amazing things. I’ll keep you updated. It’s just the beginning.