This week I have been fighting with my old subby. It has creeped its way back in….
Over this past year I have been dealing with some physical issues. Diagnosed with an Auto Immune Disease and being told that I might have antiphospholipid syndrome which is a blood clotting disorder.
To confirm it we needed to do blood work that was 3 months apart from each other. The 3-month deadline was November. I allowed my old subby to allow the thoughts and worries to creep back into my mental day to day and even though I know I am the only one who allows myself to entertain these thoughts,
I found myself having a hard time using the law of substitution to help them not fester. Along with these thoughts come the feelings of fear, negativity and worry.
I got my bloodwork done the week before the holiday fully knowing that I would not hear anything from the doctor during the holiday week. I allowed myself to rationalize calling the doctor on Tuesday to see if they got the results and inquire about the next steps.
While this is not a bad thing, for me it is because it brings all these feelings and thoughts back to the surface. To make it worse, after I called the office, the nurse that I spoke with advised me that my doctor will be calling me this Friday afternoon to talk about next steps.
That was the little information that they gave. I have been struggling a lot with not allowing the negative feelings to linger. They come in but I am pushing them away but not before they are entertained for a few seconds.
With these feelings are also coming feelings of doubt and worry in myself. I have been focusing a lot on our affirmations especially the I AM WHOLE, PERFECT, STRONG, POWERFUL, LOVING, HARMONIOUS AND HAPPY. Living by the “Do it now” mentality and trusting in the thoughts that come into my head.
I am not going to allow my old subby to get deep in again. I will trust the thoughts and act upon them because they came for a reason. I will not question them or dismiss them. I have the tools and I believe in them and in myself!!
Amy, I hear you, and the first thought was the lesson eleven focus quote for week eleven. “Whatsoever things You desire, when you pray, Believe that you receive them and you shall have them” from Mark 11:24. I change the word YOU to I when I pray this.
This and the Affirmation with Faith I pray you defeat all the worry in your life.
I can relate to your mind battle, Amy. I wholeheartedly agree with Teri in wishing I had these tools and group for support years ago. But, I am here now. You are here now. As is it written in scroll 3, one more step. Persist. I have faith you succeed.
Oh, Amy. What a valuable share–somehow the more personal we are the more universal we are and you described the struggle so very very well to help all of us–the doubt, worry, fear. Thank you for reminding each of us that the tools are there and TO REMEMBER TO USE THEM–especially in the most challenging of times. Holding you in my heart and prayers for the best possible outcome! So glad to read below you are doing much better after realizing what the old blueprint was doing and switching…
Thank you Teri- For the most part I can handle the mind stuff but this past week was a tough one. Once I realized what I was doing I was able to switch things around and have been doing much better.
Amy, I am so sorry for the health issues you are dealing with. I had an injury and my own serious health issues over a decade ago. I know the mind can take you to a very deep place. I only wish I would have had this group for guidance and support. I wish you the very best and hope you continue to lean into these teachings and exercises in moments of doubt or worry. I genuinely wish you all the best!