The past few days have been “character building”, to put it mildly. It began with an early morning ambulance ride back to the hospital I had left a few hours earlier.

This hospital stay I’ve been quite sick. So sick, that at times no amount of anti-nausea medication lessened the thick cloud of nausea and no pain medication minimized the throbbing or stabbing pain. The first two days I struggled to drink any fluid or eat anything.

At one point I was bed bound with my left arm attached to an IV and a tube inserted in my right nostril. The slightest movement on my left arm sounded an alarm because there was a slight kink in the IV hose. Without the use of my left hand, it was impossible to hold a book so I could read it.

This time around I didn’t have much energy or desire to do any MKE readings. I didn’t feel like listening to my DMP or the Master Keys either. My weakened physical and mental state allowed my old blueprint to return and fight my new blueprint’s progress. At one point I was even trying to decide whether to stay with the MKE program or quit so I could concentrate on getting better.

It was a real struggle to keep the depression demon from flooding Subby with negative propaganda. It was also hard having to rely on others for help and modern medicine to help me get better. I missed being independent and well.

While I was in bed feeling sorry for myself I remembered my Dad used to tell me “Filipinos are like the bamboo. We bend in the wind.” It reminded me that Filipinos are resilient. With this knowledge I was faced with a decision: Do I bend or break in the wind?

When I was in the ER, my guide reached out to me to see how I was doing. To cheer me up, she shared our newest MKE affirmation with a twist: I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy, and healthy! She told me I could say it in my head if I didn’t want to disturb others.

I’ve read this affirmation over and over. There were times I’d be shouting it in my mind as loud as I could because I wanted it to be true. I wanted to be Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving, Harmonious, Happy, and Healthy! I didn’t want to be sick. I didn’t want to be in the hospital. I didn’t want to be reliant on medication.

Multiple times a day I’d say, “I greet today with love in my heart.” I tried to be as kind, pleasant, and grateful towards my medical team, housekeeping, food service, family, and friends.

I was so grateful for my friend’s visits. Not only did she keep me company, she brought me things to cheer me up and teas to help me feel better.

I treasured every moment my hubby spent with me. Just having him around for a few hours lifted my spirits.

I lived for messaged from friends and family and my MKE tribe’s Marco Polo videos.

Eventually the nausea and pain subsided. The IV and nasal tubes were also removed. I was starting to feel better.

However, the following night I had a major setback. I was in agonizing pain. No amount of pain medication lessened the sharp pain in my back. Even the heat pad didn’t help. I decided to go for a walk to help relieve the pain.

I spent a lot of time crying as I looked out the hospital windows, watching the vehicles go by. I read “The Gal in the Glass” and the affirmation “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy, and health!” I said the affirmation (in my head) louder and faster, over and over. I wanted it to be true. I desperately wanted it to be true!

I looked at my vision board on my phone. I read every phrase, affirmation, and word. I scrutinized every image on it: friends enjoying a chat over tea, a white trillium, women smiling while doing Yoga and Pilates, a little girl excitedly crocheting, etc.

On my vision board I read Louise Hay’s affirmation “It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed. I am not limited by any past thinking. I choose my thoughts with care. I constantly have new insights of looking at my world. I am willing to change and grow.”

Like the bamboo, I chose to bend in the wind.

I greet today with love in my heart because I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, happy, and healthy!