The Observer

I appreciate the times when I was able to listen without expressing an opinion or wanting to respond. To pay close attention to what is said and not said. Listening with the intent to understand and to keep my opinion to myself.

I recognize the power of holding my mouth shut when the person stops talking. It gives you the chance to listen on a deeper level. And most important, it creates space for the other person to breathe, think, feel, and make sense of their feelings and thoughts.

Even though silence allows the other person to continue, I notice when I stop listening.

It’s the moment I start to wonder what to say:

• In order for the person to go deeper,
• To continue their story
• To truly feel
• To help the other person make sense of it
• To want the person to recognize their own role in their ordeal
• Or when an opinion pops up in my head.

When I catch myself, I redirect myself to just listen. I sometimes have to redirect myself numerous times.

But this is a biggie: when the other person’s tone of voice and body language upset me. I then feel sad or frustrated because I am unable to stay in a listening mode, nor can I keep my mouth shut and keep my opinions to myself.

I am sure I am guilty of it from time to time. The moment I realize it, I change my tone. But I know the damage has already been done, and all I can do now is apologize.

No matter what reason I have or how I feel, I keep these two quotes in mind:

Always keep your tone of voice soft because listeners will interpret the sound more than the words.

Unknown

It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it.

Maya Angelou

I believe that most people want to feel important and understood.

I am working on becoming a better observer and listener. To listen completely so that the other person can fully experience themselves honestly and openly, without my opinions getting in the way, and feel truly heard.

Just for that, I am so grateful to be a part of the Master Key Experience.