I have written of the rollercoaster ride. This week I write of spinning wheels. That is how I have felt most recently. Mayhaps spinning wheels isn’t the right description of it either.
Bombarded. Paralyzed. Spinning in circles? I have been vacillating between 2 PPNs and exploring them. Things that set me on fire fizzle out in a few days. I seem to be tweaking my DMP every other day. What is wrong with me?
I have been leaning into the Law of Relaxation and using the Law of Substitution a LOT against old blueprint. So, the good news is, in this whirlwind of visions, ideas and feeling lost, I am calm. Letting it flow.
But I did reach out and talked to some people. Masterminding. And although I already knew that I am in a major life crossroads, with their help I came to realize that that is exactly why I am spinning.
I had put my life on hold for decades filling certain roles. But those roles are done—chapters closed. Now, all things are open to me. Everything is on the table. SO many options. That can be overwhelming. It is a tad intimidating.
I feel like Julia Robert’s character on “The Runaway Bride” who didn’t know what kind of eggs she liked. (I do know what kind of egg I like, though…one check in that column!)
I have much work to do to dig in and find what I really, really want for me. Who am I? Who do I want to be when I grow up? Things that I dreamed of years ago I am no longer interested in. I’ve already experienced what Haanel writes about—being dissatisfied upon reaching a goal or desire. And the concern of wasting time on a pursuit that will disappoint is there.
Is that a limitation old subby is sneakily sabotaging me with? Sure does seem like it…because as it’s been said, no decision is a decision. And that gets me nowhere. No change a’tall. Spending time in stagnation sure is time wasted.
So, I keep on keeping on. I keep on with the exercises. I participate in things I do love to do. I keep imagining. I chuck those chunks of cement that I am chipping away. I will find me.
I persist.
I win.
Thank you, Amy! We’re each exactly where we are meant to be, that’s why we’re in this together. And gonna celebrate at a Comic-Con or other such event! So looking forward to it!
You’re darn right I’ll find my way, Shannon. With awesome MKEers along my side. What a journey and I thank you that you’re on it with me.
Thank you, Jen! I appreciate all you guides do for us.
Thanks for sharing Ramona!! I so relate to you in new ways every day. There is a reason we are all in this together. You will find what you want and when it finally really clicks (and stays) it will be magical!! As Jenn said, totally cheering you on and are here for you!!
My goodness the vulnerability you show is powerful! You will indeed find your way, you are walking into your destiny that is immediately clear with the PPN’s changing! You persist you are winning!!
Very insightful blog Ramona! Yes indeed… continue with the daily exercises, persisting, and trusting your unique Hero’s journey. We are cheering you on!