I have knowledge that my subconscious has been running my life. I now know that I have the capability to do things I once believed was only a dream for my life.
Therefore, getting Subby under my control is the real key to my success. I toss the old blueprint and create the life I deserve. Sounds so simple.
Now that I have this knowledge, I have no more excuses to be mediocre. I must exercise my will to persistently (and patiently) train Subby to do what I really want to do (not what I’ve been conditioned to do).
I do this by using my will (once again) to be disciplined in my approach to the Master Key Experience (MKE) and exercises. Yes, this week I must write out more index cards even when I don’t see the sense in doing it. I must trust the process.
I believe that with God, nothing is impossible. Therefore, it must be possible for me to change my life. All I have to do is change my mind (renew my mind). I must relax and not resist change.
Overall, the actions I’ve been taking reveal that I’m straddling the fence of success instead of expecting it to manifest. I am still getting ready to get ready. I’m affirming “Do it now” 20-30 times a day, and I am getting more done. It’s just not as much as I know I can accomplish.
So far, I have succeeded in puzzling myself.
I still do not fully understand why I continue to resist something I know is good for me. What does Subby think she’s protecting me from? From disappointment? From being rejected? From being hurt? That’s already happening with the old blueprint. You’d think I’d be eager for change!
Fighting myself has been totally exhausting. There are days when I am going backwards (procrastinating) and can only shake my head. For example, one day I wasted a few hours watching television. It’s not like I was watching my favorite shows. Instead, I was looking for something (anything) to avoid moving forward. Of course, I didn’t tell myself I was avoiding anything. Instead, I said something like, “I need a break. I’ve been working too long.”
Now why would I do that? Whose side am I on, anyway?
Lions, tigers, and bears! Oh my!
Ava, my friend…I am so proud of you!! We have worked our entire lives to get where we are. We understand our successes, because we’re comfortable with the effort and results. To embark on this journey is so far above what we’ve been conditioned to believe possible, I, too, allow or create distractions, just in case, to explain away possible failure. You are on the right track…Subby is not comfortable with change…”come on Ava, we’ve always done it THIS way.” If Subby is uncomfortable, you are blazing a trail, and on the right path!! Keep your eyes on the prize!!!
H Ava, Thank you for being so open about your struggles. Lots of us can relate to your experiences. Keep growing, you have this.
Thanks for sharing your struggles Ava. Some days I struggle with resisting change and I sometimes procrastinate too. Like you, sometimes I temporarily return to my old blueprint. When that happens I have to tell myself that change is beautiful and not to be hard on myself if I don’t complete all the tasks I intended to complete. When I do complete tasks I said I’d do, no matter how small the task, I celebrate by throwing my hands up in the air and say out loud, “I did it! Woo hoo!”
I know you’ll find the answers to your many questions and I look forward to celebrating with you on your future accomplishments.
Very cool transparency, Ava. Would love to hear when you discover your answers.
Excellent questions, Ava! I can relate to many of them. Thank you for this blog post:)