I could swear that there is some kind of movie, maybe more than one? Or a combination of several? Where the main character really wants to win, yet is in a surrealistic world of mirrors & distractions that keep them lost in a crazy maze.
Dealing with computers & passwords & my inner world has often been like this … for me. I can only speak for myself. Most of my life I have wanted to be successful, and pretty much any time I have achieved any kind of success … the other shoe drops & something bad happens & I end up worse off than I began?
This has happened so many times in my life, I now perceive it as a program or a part of why I am exhausted so much of the time & have difficulty with focus. I feel so much conflict instead of peace. All I have ever known my entire life is to suck it up & push forward & I have always wondered why for some people life seemed to be so much easier, and my life always seemed to be so hard?
It has been a huge struggle just to write anything because of my conflict within & wanting to be honest with what I am feeling & experiencing & being told my entire life, you can not think or feel that. So I have kept it suppressed & hidden.
I mean after all, we are ONLY supposed to be positive, and if you have negative thoughts or are depressed or suicidal do not tell anyone because they won’t like it. Just put on a happy face & smile & be positive because that is how you are supposed to be. Only positive all of the time.
After all, look at all of the real suffering going on in the world. You have nothing to complain about. Just suck it up and keep your problems to yourself. Because no one wants to hear about it, and no one really cares.
All of my life I have never fit in anywhere & have always had to mostly keep to myself. I have no friends or family & I have had to learn how to just deal with it. I have never had very good social skills. Always been a bit of an outsider & just always alone.
I am so glad you are with us Mark. You never have to feel all alone. You never have to hide your true self, let that shine through.
Things are about to change for the better, Mark! You are on the right path at the right time! Yes! 🙂
If you are feeling awkward Mark, let’s be awkward together. I feel this way most of the time. Yet people have told me I appear to have it all together. Passwords – write them in a notebook or make them something like “I@mperfect777” to remind yourself every time that you log in that you are just what God intended for you to be. Your timing is spot on: Everything that is meant for you, you will have. Stop worrying…make a plan. Do the work. Write your schedule out on paper to clear your mind. You are a part of the tribe – Hang in there, be social, the more we practice being social the easier it gets! ((Hugs))
It’s the cement Mark! The cement that’s been poured upon so many and once we are able to Crack and chip that cement away, it becomes a much different world. A world filled with great things, beautiful things that surround us every moment of everyday!
One of the most important things that I’ve learned via the Master Key Experience was ways to Crack that cement off! It becomes liberating to one mind as it begins to happen…