Keeping a Diary, or Journal? That’s for people that had good things going on in their life or were so looking for sympathy that they exposed all the bad things they were going through or thinking.

Not for me! Growing up with fear of being punished, put down, belittled for minor kid stuff was not worth writing about. God forbid my true feelings and emotions would be committed to pen and paper. Bad enough they were in my thoughts and if found???

This could open the door for ‘the powers that be” getting a hold of it and knowing what was in my mind and heart! For sure this would cause me to be ‘chopped meat’!

Funny how life works. Always associated journaling and/or writing a diary was somehow giving up one’s Privacy.

This week’s lesson addressing honesty, courage, confidence and working on writing our definite major purpose, using index cards that have chores written down, connecting all this to shapes and colors has not been easy for me.

I have resisted doing this and writing blogs, I just want to read. Reading is my escape. I can create all I want to through the books I read, and I could do it in my head! Besides, who in the world would be interested in reading about me, my life, my day, etc.?

I hadn’t stopped to think that I have been living in the past, not making the good things that have happened in my recent adult life my new happy memories. Every time something negative happened I reverted to the past! Always focusing on the negative and the what ifs! Missing all the good things today!

As I slowly engage in attempting to write a Blog, I am beginning to see myself in a different light. As I write, I see how many great things have happened to me since those days of long ago when I felt that journaling, blogging, writing about my life, was not something to share. Now I see how those thoughts held me back!

I already share! I wasn’t connecting the dots! I have a FB page, an IG page, a LinkedIn page, what’s my problem??? It’s no different than my social media platforms, although I must admit I have not dared yet fully express myself on those sites either.

This week’s lesson talking about honesty, courage, confidence has helped me share my feelings and thoughts more openly. Maybe someone out there has been afraid of expressing, sharing what they went through growing up.

Wonder if any other bloggers have experienced this? If you have, know that it is okay to share, so many of us feel the same and have had similar experiences but we feel ashamed to talk about it. We feel and think we are not good enough or deserving.

Thanks to the beautiful people in this group, I am moving past my fears!